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Toxic

 

 

Happy Monday people – or is it?

 
 
 I have found, on this lovely Monday morning, that I am DONE being the bad guy and I am DONE being the door mat.  For those of you confused, allow me to explain. 

 I have people around me who are so self-involved and entitled that they care about little else around them.  I also know people who would rather hold on to some decade(s) old grudge despite being offered MANY olive branches.  Here is what I have to say to those people:

  1. If I have extended olive branches and you continue to be nasty, consider that practice done.  I tried (and tried and tried and tried) and I don’t have time for that anymore.
  2. If you want to react to things like a child, then feel free to move another direction. I don’t have time for that either.
  3. If you want to get angry and hostile every time someone disagrees you, please figure out a way to grow up.
  4. If living in your own filth is okay with you, please take MANY steps away from me.
  5. If the ONLY thing you care to talk about is yourself, I don’t want to hear it.
  6. If you want to always be  a victim and everything that happens is someone else’s fault, you need to get some therapy.
  7. If you insist on punishing me for someone else’s behavior, get a grip.
  8. If you refuse to take responsibility for ANYTHING, that is a problem and it will come back to bite you later.

 All this to say, I am over it.  For YEARS people have treated me like I am some kind of monster – like everything that comes out of my mouth is nasty or filled with lies (and don't get me started on people that read a TEXT that way).  And 99% of the time that is not true.  Yes that was probably true when I was 17, but I’m 45 now – get over it.  I can say with certainty that there are a small smattering of people around me who can tell you that we treat each other with mutual respect and friendship and because of that, I will bend over backwards to help them. I will cancel plans, rearrange my day, whatever I CAN do to help with something and they often do the same for me. I would fight for them any time I needed to - I have their back. 

 I have actually lost MANY family members over this behavior - because they decided to blame me for what others did (excuse much?).  Most of them cut me off completely (nearly two decades ago now) and I would be lying if I said that it still doesn’t hurt a little bit.  In my marriages, I have always been the bad guy, particularly to the in-law family (and you would not believe some of the stupid crap I have been blamed for).  

 Here’s the thing guys – I KNOW my faults - and I work so hard to try and improve. I know where I need improvement, I know when I am being irrational (which is admittedly often) and I know when all I really want is for someone to sit with me. I also know when I am being used, neglected, abused or taken for granted – in any of my personal relationships.  And I am DONE with that. Take your BS somewhere else. 

 

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