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These are the moles that bind us

 


 

I have had skin cancer.  I have had several moles also caught in their pre-cancerous stage. I’ve had large holes cut out, stitches and so, so, so many moles shaved off.  I have a pretty close relationship with my dermatologist (who is honestly one of my favorite people). I see her every six months (it used to be every 3, so yay for improvement!).  That being said….

Ever since I was little, I had a mole on my cheek, closer to my mouth (You can see in the picture above - just to the left of my mouth).  My mom used to tell me often how lucky I was because after Cindy Crawford became popular, people would draw beauty marks on their face and I had a natural one.  I remember how good that always made me feel.  I knew even then that I certainly was no Cindy Crawford, and never would be, but it always made me feel special.  I’m sure that was my mom’s intention, and it worked.

Fast forward to about a month and a half ago, give or take.  That mole suddenly became very large and raised, a hard little nodule.  I gave it some time, hoping and praying that it was just a pimple that formed under there because admittedly, I am pretty anxious when it comes to moles since skin cancer keeps trying to pop up.  I watched it, tried to squeeze it a little, wanting so much for it to be just a regular blemish. Nothing.  Okay fine. I made an appointment with the dermatologist.  She was fairly sure it was unrelated to the mole, but of course, only one way to know for sure – remove it.    

I’m not really attached (no pun intended) to my moles. I also have no problem with scars, so if it would save my life, take whatever you need.  I will say though, this one made me a little sad.  I knew it was the one my mom always liked.  It was the one always brought up whenever there was a mole discussion (and with my history, we had many of those).  I think even she would have been a little sad to see it go. 

What a sad and silly association to make I suppose, but I still have such a hard time knowing she will never be on the other end of the phone, knowing that THIS of all moles, is the one I can’t discuss with her. 


**Sidenote:  It actually turned out to be a cyst that likely would not have gone away without removal.

***PSA:  If you have ANY spots you are concerned about, PLEASE go see a dermatologist. If you have ever gotten any severe sunburns or spent even a minute in a tanning bed, PLEASE go see a dermatologist. If you go grudgingly and are told that your skin looks great, come back in a year, you can feel free to rub that in my face. I will happily take that gloating, AS LONG AS YOU GO.

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